5 Things I Hope My Daughter's Never Learn From Books....and 1 Thing I Hope They Do

I have been jaded by reading.

Ok, well not really.  But I think it's really easy to read enough romance books that reality starts to seem a little less exciting.  Your expectations towards relationships change.  No romantic relationship can ever measure up.

It's a dangerous place to be if you aren't careful.  

As my girls start to get older, I realize they are going to be following in my reading footsteps. While this thrills me, it also kind of terrifies me.  

So I have compiled a list of things I hope they don't start to expect when they're older.  We'll start out with the big one:

1)  Every man you fall in love with will have a giant, um, "member".

Sorry girls.  This just isn't true.  Just like boobs come in every shape and size, so do man bits.  And while we're at it, let's also clarify that "big" doesn't mean "good".  Even if he's well endowed, if he puts no effort into foreplay and pays little attention to his woman's physical and verbal cues, it won't be a very satisfying experience.  And let me just say this...there is a such thing as too much. I'll just leave it at that.

2)  The bad boy will change if you just love him enough!

No.  No, no, no, no, no!  Is a bad boy fun to mess around with?  Sure.  But you aren't the first one who has loved him.  And you certainly won't be the last one to try and change him.  I get that sometimes there is an inexplicable draw.  But until he actually changes, he's not worth having your heart broke over.  Have your fun and get out with no regrets.  If he wants to change, he will.  For himself.  And that's when he's ready for you long term.

3)  Men want, and can have, sex roughly five times a day, every day, for their entire lives.

This man will obviously never have children or a job, because he doesn't even have to time to stop and eat, let alone care for anyone else.  Seriously?  Who has time for this?  And while we're at it, women can't orgasm on demand, nor will you orgasm the first time you have sex.  You won't feel a prick of pain when you lose your virginity and then, as he slowly thrusts in and out of you, your pleasure rebuilds.  Try again.  The first time will be painful and you won't orgasm.  And when he growls, "Come for me," you won't.  That's life.

4)  You will meet the love of your life while you are in high school.

Does it happen?  Sure.  Does it happen often?  Well, if you count up the number of Facebook friends I have and see who married their high school sweetheart, that's already a pretty small percentage.  When you take out those who were divorced by 19, the percentage gets even smaller. Speaking of divorce...

5)  Once you say "I do" to your soul mate, you will forever have butterflies in your stomach when he looks at you.

Uh, negative.  Most days I want to kick my husband in the shin because he farted in the kitchen or I dream of dousing him with cold water in the shower because he forgot to take out the trash and the dog got into it.  Marriage is HARD.  There are fights.  There is sacrifice.  There are times you wake up wondering why you got married in the first place.  Anyone who has been married longer than five years and tells you otherwise is either lying, in a totally co-dependent relationship or needs to be sharing their magic formula with the rest of us.  Does that mean it always sucks?  No. But the dynamic will change.  And you need to be prepared for that.


On the flip side of my reading fears, however, is the one thing I hope my daughter's learn from reading:

1)  Don't settle.

There are men like Holder from "Losing Hope" out there.  Men who will know your deepest, darkest secrets, but it won't change how they feel about you.
Men like Kayden from the "Callie and Kayden" series who will do whatever it takes to protect you.
Men like Jason from "Falling Into Us" who will stick by you through heartache and tragedy, and never once be tempted to stray.
Men like Phillip from "That Boy" who will know every single annoying and obnoxious thing about you, and will love you with his whole heart anyway.

The thing is, though, he won't be rich, well endowed, have a "v", get you off five times a day, be model gorgeous, change just for you, be your boyfriend since high school and still be come with lust-colored glasses for you to look at him through when you've been married for 15 years.  You may be lucky and get one or two of those traits.  But no one is as perfect as our book boyfriends. And if you try to force them to be, you will not only be sorely disappointed, you may just lose out on a great thing.

So, if the only thing my girls get out of reading is "don't settle", I can rest assured they will figure out the rest just fine.