Dear Reader, Don't Be a Douche.

I worked in social services for about 5 years.  It's one of those jobs that everyone goes into with good intentions.  But it's way more stressful than you would think.  

Government money must always be accounted for.  People who are there for the right reasons lash out because they are on their last dime and freaking out.  People who are there for the wrong reasons lash out because of a strange sense of entitlement.  It's enough to make a normal, everyday person go insane.

I worked that high stress job while I was pregnant with my daughter.  It was a terrible pregnancy with lots of sickness, gestational diabetes, lots of hospital visits for bleeding...it wasn't fun.  Add to that, we were going through an incredibly stressful custody battle over my oldest daughter whose birth parents kept trying to kidnap her (literally.  Like cops coming to the house and everything.).  Add onto THAT I had roughly a 2 hour commute every day, an employee who refused to be on time, another one who couldn't account for a LOT of money and I had to help her clean up the mess....and one day two of my employees decided to throw down in the office.

I.

Snapped.

To my credit, I didn't snap in the middle of the office.  I dragged their sorry butts into the back room to lay into them while waiting for MY boss to get there and help sort it out.  By the time she got there, she had to calm ME down because I was going ballistic on these employees.  I did the best I could in that moment, but everything....pregnancy, custody, exhaustion, high-stress job...it all came crashing down on me in that moment.

I was so grateful my boss gave me grace, because as their supervisor, I should have known better.  It was my job to maintain my cool, even when they didn't.

I can hear some of you thinking, "Well  yeah.  Of course.  You're human.  It's not unreasonable to snap sometimes."

Hey guess what?

Authors are human, too.  Sometimes they snap.  Sometimes it's not pretty.  And most times, instead of giving them grace for being human, we lash out and screenshot things they say in that "moment" and we do our best to put them on trial for one mistake that probably has NOTHING to do with us.

Even better, we see someone else lashing out and instead of getting all the information, we just jump on the bandwagon and try to crucify someone over a situation we know nothing about.

Case in point:

Recently, an author outed a bully who was harassing her daughter.  She took a screenshot of what the offender had said publicly and posted it on her Facebook page.  People immediately banded together to find this offender, who also happened to be an author, and ruin her.  I mean, it was nasty.

Here's where it gets interesting:

There are apparently 2 authors with the same name.  The one everyone was crucifying....WAS NOT THE BULLY.

Let me throw in a disclaimer here.  I 100% agree with the way the original author handled the situation.  This offender is an ADULT harassing a 15 year old CHILD.  This wasn't the first incident.  And it wasn't the first time the original author had tried to get it to stop.  It was a last resort.  She was completely within her right to handle it the way she did.  I would have done the same thing.

What I do NOT agree with, is people immediately grabbing their pitchforks and torches and going on a man hunt to find the perpetrator.  Who is the bully now?  The original bully?  Or the people rising up again someone they know nothing about because of a situation they know very little about?  (The original author did try to sort it out and publicly posted that people were going after the wrong person.  I don't know if it helped, but the effort didn't go unnoticed and unappreciated.)

In another recent case, an author had a bad day after a family member unwittingly stirred up a lot of public drama.  When a reader contacted her about it, she handled it in a less than stellar way.  That reader then went to her Facebook page and complained about an author being rude.  Ok fine.  But during the thread, the author's name was brought up and it got down right nasty.

After she had calmed down and handled the family member, the author then went on her page and publicly apologized to the reader.  She accepted responsibility for her actions, asked for forgiveness and ended by saying she had learned from her mistake and it wouldn't happen again.

Maybe too little, too late.  But I really appreciated the sentiment.  The reader who had been wronged, apparently did not.

She went BACK to her Facebook page and complained about how the author apologized to her and now she was getting people attacking her for not leaving the author alone and that she was pissed.

At this point, why is this still being publicly discussed?  Someone attempted to right a wrong and for THAT she's getting nasty things said about her?  And for goodness sake, why are people still taking it upon themselves to be in the middle of it when the author clearly stated she didn't want anyone to defend her?

Don't misunderstand.  There are authors out there who say inappropriate things and when they are called out, flat out refuse to see the error of their ways.  Some even go on and on and ON about how they have a right to say what they want.  Well, that's true.  It's terrible PR.  And it doesn't make me want to read any of those books.  Those people will just have to learn the hard way.  

But why do we continue to be angry at the people who try to  make amends?  Why does the witch hunt continue?  We still refuse to give people grace.  We continue to call them names and change our ratings on Goodreads to reflect our anger.  Anger that, let's face it, isn't really justified at all.  But we try to justify it by reminding everyone that "as a public figure they should know better!"  Really?

Think about this.  When a Hollywood actor comes into the limelight, there is an agent teaching him how to respond to negativity.  There is a publicist who creates all the PC responses to any drama.  There is a team that buffers the celebrity from all the nasty things that are said, which helps keep them focused on their job and out of the drama.

Indie authors don't get that.  When they are thrown into the public eye, it is with no training whatsoever on how to handle criticism.  They are self-published, for goodness sake!  So they go it alone.  And they make mistakes.  And they learn as they go.  And being that people who write books are typically a little more emotional than your average everyday person, it can also take them a little longer to build up that thick skin.

My point in all of this, is to take a step back when something is said online.  Is this really an atrocity that needs to rally the troops?  Or is this two people having a falling out, as people do regularly throughout life?  Do you need to be involved and to spread the drama?

Or do you need to give a little bit of grace, like my former boss did for me?

That author you wrote a review about may be going through a terrible custody battle over her daughter.  The blogger you send an email to pointing out something they wrote incorrectly may be in the hospital, afraid of losing her baby.  That reader you lashed out at may be in a low-paying, high-stress job trying to make ends meet, and you just happened upon her at the wrong moment.

So reader, blogger, author...don't be a douche.  A little grace can go a long way.  And a little forgiveness, when requested, can lead to some great friendships.

Here's to fewer witch hunts and more relationships!

Possibly My Favorite Read This Year

In 1917, Lena Buchanan was tired of living under the thumb of her abusive husband.  She had 3 small children and wanted them, and herself, to live a life without fear.  She wanted a better life for all of them.

Before I go on, think about this for a second.  It was 1917.  Almost 100 years ago.  Women didn't work then.  They didn't even have the right to vote!  But Lena imagined something better.  So had the courage and gumption to do what NO ONE did in 1917.  

She said, "Enough".  And she filed for divorce from her husband.

In August of that same year, her husband proved exactly how crazy he was when he shot and killed her in front of a department store just past 8am.  He then shot and killed himself.

Sounds like an interesting book right?  Well Lena's life and death isn't the result of someone's imagination.  No.  Lena Buchanan is author Emily Hemmer's great-great grandmother.  And 100 years later, Lena is the inspiration for the beautiful book, "Wynn in Doubt".

Ms. Hemmer told me Lena's story when I met her at the Denton Author Event.  She then told me how Lena's story took on a life of it's own.

What if Lena had gotten away?  What kind of life could she have had?  Could she had survived?  Could she have thrived?  Could she have found love?

So Ms. Hemmer began writing.  And ended with one of my favorite books this year.

Now, I don't normally go for historical romances or historical dramas.  Period pieces just don't do it for me.  But "Wynn in Doubt" isn't just a story about a woman living in the roaring 20's.  It's actually about a modern day girl who seems to have gotten lost in her own life.  As this girl, Wynn, goes looking for answers about her great grandmother, she finds parallels to their lives that start to explain her own self-doubt and depression.

Just because this book doesn't fall into the historical genre, doesn't mean the attention to detail has been lost.  No.  Ms. Hemmer did a lot of research that really came through.  It was fascinating to find out  more about bootleggers and moonshine stills.  In fact, if it weren't for the lone sex scene, I would have my 11 year old daughter read this novel when her history class starts discussing this era.

(Speaking of, if you have a teen, I would suggest reading this novel to see if it's something you feel comfortable with him/her reading.  As a fictional book it is beautiful.  But as a glimpse into the past, it is fascinating.  It would definitely bring the 20's to life to any student studying it in school)

"Wynn in Doubt" is an absolute beautiful story of finding yourself, learning how not to settle, and facing your future head-on without forgetting your past.  It is one of the only books I have read recently that I can say is just about flawless.  Get it by clicking here.

So thank you, Lena, for being a courageous woman who took a stand.  100 years later, your story is making a difference.

And thank you, Ms. Hemmer, for breathing new life into Lena's story.

My newest Diamond, Emily Hemmer, and her book "Wynn in Doubt" get a flawless

My Newest "Go To" Author

There are a few authors out there that I revolve my world around.  Don't judge.  You know you do it, too..when their release is coming out, you take the day off, get a babysitter and park it on the couch.

Colleen Hoover is one of these authors.  I mean, duh.
Jessica Sorensen is another.  Man, that girl can write!
J.R. Ward...ooooooh.  Love me some brothers.

Now, there is a new name on that list.  Fisher Amelie.  

Ms. Amelie's "Seven Deadly Sins" series is the latest obsession on my mind.  I read both "Vain" and "Greed" in less than 36 hours because I couldn't put them down.

In this series, Ms. Fisher explores the worst offenders of these particular sins.  Besides vanity and greed, she's on task to tackle things like anger, lust, laziness, gluttony and envy. (The titles change slightly, but the sin remains the same)  

Here's the synopsis to "Vain" as seen on Amazon:

"If you're looking for a story about a good, humble girl, who's been hurt by someone she thought she could trust, only to find out she's not as vulnerable as she thought she was and discovers an empowering side of herself that falls in love with the guy who helps her find that self, blah, blah, blah...then you're gonna hate my story.

Because mine is not the story you read every time you bend back the cover of the latest trend novel.  It's not the "I can do anything, now that I've found you/I'm misunderstood but one day you'll find me irresistible because of it" tale.  Why?  Because, if I was being honest with you, I'm a complete witch.  There's nothing redeeming about me.  I'm a friend using, drug abusing, sex addict from Los Angeles.  I'm every girlfriend's worst nightmare and every boy's fantasy.

I'm Sophie Price...And this is the story about how I went from the world's most envied girl to the girl no one wanted around and why I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

Now don't be confused.  These books aren't just about a character that you love to hate.  No. They are about the process someone goes through when the one thing they love more than anything is taken away.  What happens when the lives of these "offenders" are completely shaken up? Can they change?  Can they make amends?  Can they forgive themselves for the sins they've committed?

One of the things that makes these books so fascinating, is the amount of research it must have taken to get some of the details right.  From orphanages in Uganda to ranches in Montana; there is an incredible amount of detail put into every story.  And these are the things that really brought it all to life and made it so much more interesting than the average everyday novel.

However, the biggest surprise to me was...wait for it...

No Sex.

WHAAAAAAT????

You heard me.  In this day and age where reading an Indie book probably means a sex scene or two, it was a pleasant surprise to close the book and realize I can recommend these to my friend's high school freshman without a second thought.  (Seriously Rachel, Rylee will love this series.)

It is safe to say that Fisher Amelie is my newest go-to author.  I have a serious fangirl crush on her now.  And I cannot WAIT for the next the installment, "Fury", which is due out later this year.

I can officially say I am ruined for other books.  Forever.  So start reading this series by clicking here.  

Fisher Amelie and her "Seven Deadly Sins" series earn rave reviews from me and a solid

Why Penny Reid Just Gets Better and Better

It must be nice to be author Penny Reid.  Is there anything she can't do?

For goodness sake, by day, she's a biomedical researcher.  I have no idea what that means, except that she's really, REALLY smart.

She knows how to knit.  Which means she can MAKE things.  Like gifts and clothes and stuff. Do you know how much money you could save by making gifts and clothes and stuff??

And she can write really good stories.  Not just your average, everyday, run of the mill romance novels.  No.  Penny Reid writes really SMART stories about everyday people.  And she wins bets when she does it!!  (Refer to my preview post here for more on that story)

So it should come as no surprise that, once again, Ms. Reid wrote a clever, smart, funny, amazing story with "Beauty and the Mustache."

Here is the synopsis as written on Amazon:

"There are three things you need to know about Ashley Winston:  1) She has six brothers and they all have beards, 2) She is a reader, and 3) She knows how to knit.

Former beauty queen, Ashley Winston's preferred coping strategy is escapism.  She escaped her Tennessee small town, loathsome father, and six brothers eight years ago.  Now she escapes life daily via her Amazon kindle one-click addiction.  However, when a family tragedy forces her to return home, Ashley can't escape the notice of Drew Runous--local Game Warden, bear wrestler, philosopher, and everyone's favorite guy.  Drew's irksome philosophizing in particular makes Ashley want to run for the skyscrapers, especially since he can't seem to keep his exasperating opinions--or his soulful poetry, steadfast support, and delightful hands--to himself.  Pretty soon the girl who wanted nothing more than the escape of the big city finds she's lost her heart in small town Tennessee."

See what I mean?

Even the synopsis is smart and amazing.

Penny Reid has been one of my Diamonds for a couple of months now.  So it isn't a huge surprise to me that "Beauty and the Mustache" blew my socks off.  It had me crying in one chapter and laughing out loud the next.  It has heart and humor and even a touch of heat. And don't get me started on the bearded brothers.

Oh, the bearded brothers.  What the character Ashley calls her "hillbilly" brothers, I call blue-collar MEN.  *sigh*  (Side note:  I seriously hope the "Knitting in the City" series transitions into the "Bearded Brothers" series.  A girl can dream, right?)

One of the best parts about Ms. Reid's books is that, while they are part of a series, they can be read as stand alone novels.  There are no cliffhangers.  However, be forewarned...if you decide to start with Book 1, you will go clamoring for Book 2 immediately upon reading "The End".  They are that good.

In fact, I honestly believe "Beauty and the Mustache" is Ms. Reid's best work to date.  If you don't pick up any of her other books, pick this one up by clicking here.  You won't be disappointed.

In closing, when I grow up, I hope to be like Penny Reid.  Right now, I'd say she and Wonder Woman are tied for most likely to save the world.

Super Penny and her clever, witty and emotional newest release get a very smart

Why Every Die-Hard Reader Should Have an Online Community

You see all those smiling faces?  Those are my girls.  Let me introduce you.  (From left to right) That's Stacy Grice, Shelly Collins, Murphy Rae, Kristin Delcambre, Kaci Buckley and me. 

This past weekend, we drove in from Texas, Alabama, Florida and met in Georgia to attend a Phillip Phillips concert together.  Just for the fun of it.  Because that's what college friends do, right?

But wait.  These aren't my college friends.  

Nope. 

This are my book friends.  People I have met online through a particular book club and have gotten close to.

I know, I know.  You can't always trust people on the internet and you need to make sure you aren't substituting a local community of friends by being online all day every day.  I'm not arguing with any of that.  But Stacy said something this weekend that I have said a thousand times before.  She said, "I just like being with you guys because I feel like I'm with my people!"

Amen.

It's the same reason I like to going to author events.  I'm surrounded by people who get me. People who can talk plot lines and character development for hours without being bored out of their minds.  People who get how crazy it feels to be head over heels in love with sixteen different men....none of whom are real.  People who understand the love of drama. (not creating it.  Just the stories behind it)

Check out the example in this picture:

Do you see the wires coming out of our shirts?  That would be evidence of the fact that both Murphy and I finished our current audio books during the 30 hours of driving we did.  Were our feelings hurt that we spent a few hours not talking, but immersed in a fictional story even though we were side by side?  Nope.  Because we both get it.  I guarantee that wouldn't have happened if I was road tripping with someone who wasn't one my "people".

When I first started meeting up with this group of ladies, my husband didn't quite understand my excitement.  He couldn't figure out why I was more excited to see people I had met over the internet versus some of my own family members!  

But a funny thing happens when you allow yourself to spend some times with other people who share the same passion as you...I became a better mom.  And a better wife.  I smiled more.  A part of me that wasn't getting fulfilled in  my "real" world was started to be fulfilled by my online world.  

You see, while my husband was able to sign up for a local soccer league and spend eight to twelve weeks getting to know people, there was no long term, organized group in my area for book junkies.  Sure, I looked for a book club in my area.  But the ones I have found don't exactly enjoy the same books I do.  Or are full of 70 year old women.  Not that I don't have 70 year old friends.  But even my 70 year old friends can only take so much.

Finding my online community not only gave me some more fulfilling friendships, it gave me people to hang out with at places like Book Bash.  Because author events are SO much more fun when you have dinner plans afterwards to discuss all the authors you met.  It gave me people to talk to when a book really moved me and made me emotional.  It gave me my "go-to" people when it was time to book a hotel room for NOLA.  It gave me people to visit when I have a layover in many unfamiliar cities around the country and world.

So if you are a die-hard reader, find an online community you connect with.  It's as simple as "liking" a favorite author's page on Facebook and interacting with people.  Find the people you enjoy talking to and connect with them.  You will be surprised how something as simple as a fun comment on Facebook can lead to something even more fun like this:

It's a 5 Diamond Freebie

You know that old phrase "The grass is always greener on the other side"?  Have you ever thought about what that actual means?

For instance, take someone who is poor.  I bet many people who don't have a lot of money look at the rich and think, "Man.  It must be nice to not worry about bills, to have the money to be pampered, to go on fancy trips and drive the best car."

On the flip side, I bet many rich people look at people who don't have a lot of money and think, "Man.  It must be nice to have a father/mother/husband who spends time at home and isn't at the office all the time and to be loved for who you are, not because of what you can do for someone."

But what happens when these two worlds cross paths?  Can a solid relationship be had when people are so different?

My newest Diamond, Charles Sheehan-Miles explores this issue in his book "A Song for Julia".  But he also explores so much more.

Before I go on, here is the synopsis as it is written on Amazon:

"Everyone should have something to rebel against.

Crank Wilson left his South Boston home at sixteen to start a punk bank and burn out his rage at the world.  Six years later, he's still at odds with his father, a Boston cop, and doesn't ever speak to his mother.  The only relationship that really matters is with his younger brother, but watching out for Sean can be a full-time job.

The one thing Crank wants in life is to be left the hell alone to write his music and drive his band to success.

Julia Thompson left a secret behind in Beijing that exploded into scandal in Washington, DC, threatening her father's career and dominating her family's life. Now, in her senior year at Harvard, she's haunted by a voice from her past and refuses to ever lost control of her emotions again, especially when it comes to a guy.

When Julia and Crank meet at an anti-war protest in Washington in the fall of 2002, the connection between them is so powerful it threatens to tear everything apart."

This book isn't just about a love story.  It's about forgiveness, letting go of the past and figuring who you are and what you stand for.  It is written beautifully and never once lost my interest.

This is one of those books that you download and think, "I'll put it on my TBR."  

But don't do it.

Download it here and start reading it immediately.  It is truly a beautiful story and I can't wait to read more from this author.  Did I mention it is free? 

Yeah.  It doesn't get any better than a beautiful freebie.

I am proud to say, Charles Sheehan-Miles and his beautifully crafted song get

Looks Like I'm Shipping Internationally.....

Because the winner of a signed copy of "Finding Cinderella" by Colleen Hoover, the "Maybe Someday" soundtrack by Griffin Peterson and signed bookmarks by Amelie Fisher...

As chosen by Random.org is....

Shai Villanueva

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Don't forget to email me your mailing information at chelleauthorstalker@gmail.com.